I’m not particularly conservative, but objectively speaking – raising children, taking care of a home, and pursuing one’s interests in one’s spare time – is not a bad life. It’s even better than many other options. You don’t have to sit in traffic jams, commute, stress at the workplace and work overtime. Raising children can certainly be challenging, but it’s based on routines and when children are young they sleep a lot.
What I’m describing is the classic woman’s work, which is also partly a lie, I’ll come back to that later. Nowadays it is described as a women’s trap and there is a lot of discrimination against stay-at-home mums. It is not really socially accepted to just stay at home. In addition, home-schooling is banned in many countries, forcing families to relocate. Now, not all stay-at-home parents want to home-school their children, but it’s worth mentioning.
If we go back to the beginning of the last century. There was a lot of talk about women entering the labour market. This was probably seen as a mockery by many, especially by peasant and working-class women. They had been working since they were children; wage labour was nothing new to them.
It was bourgeois women who fought for the right to work, they wanted to eat the low-hanging fruit, with simple desk jobs that included coffee breaks and lunch with friends. In addition, as women took over the jobs of teachers, bureaucrats and writers, wages slowly fell, as did the status of the work.
Perhaps they weren’t as combative as the men, perhaps they didn’t understand how the labour market worked? Who knows? However, it is a well-known and even hidden truth that when women come in, wages go down. And that is practical and pleasant for employers.
At the same time, it is women who complain most about stress, burnout, and the consumption of antidepressants has increased significantly in recent decades. Working life is hard. Many women say they also do more of the housework than men, and that this also contributes to increased stress. The life puzzle is difficult.
In anthropology, it is sometimes said that the division of labour was modern man’s greatest achievement. Instead of everyone doing everything, people specialise, which benefits both the individual and society. Through practice and repetition, individuals acquire ever greater professional skills, helping society to become more advanced and well-developed.
It is the same with our career, perhaps it is better for one of the partners to raise the children wholeheartedly, and the other to sit wholeheartedly in traffic jams and meet customers?
I myself chose the children, despite being a man, I spent a great deal of time with them when they were young. I had the opportunity to work from home, and combine it with babysitting, pick-ups and drop-offs. We also strategically chose to settle near nurseries and schools. My wife was the one who had to rush in traffic and chase customers, and for a period in her life she preferred it.
However, when I told people that I was at home with the children, I was praised. It was strong of me and good. Because I was a man. I thought it was a good life, it was very rewarding to spend time with your children and do activities with them. It’s something I will always remember and carry with me. It’s just a shame that it’s so ugly when women do it.
